P o p p i h o l a s

Resolusi jangka pendek

1. Belajar taat sama agama
2. Belajar untuk masa depan
3. Belajar hidup mandiri
4. Main
5. Cari pacar

Dan…
6. Berhenti terlalu mikirin orang lain
7. Sembuhin penyakit hati
8. Belajar ikhlas
9. Lebih meluangkan waktu buat keluarga
10. Bisa ngebedain mana temen yang ada cuma kalau dia butuh dan mana temen yang butuh/ga butuh tetep ada.

Deep there

Okay tumblr here we go again

I once read a book titled ‘5 cm’ it’s a local book but beautifully written. It says we have to put our dreams 5 cm in front of us. So we will always give our best shot to achieve it.

I hung my dream 5 cm away from me. And it’s the biggest mistake in my life. Not that I say the book is bullshit. But, with that 5 cm distance, no matter how far I go, no matter how fast, that dream will always be there. 5 cm away. I’m so close to it but still, it’s 5 cm away.

I don’t know how much longer my sadness will stay. I have two options. First, forget it. Really really forget it, which means I must not think about it, or doing anything related to it. Or two, convince my self to think otherwise. For example, I love money. To solve my problem here, I have to convince my self that money is just a piece of paper with numbers written on it. Those are my ways of problem solving. They work well on me. Those options only applied when I certainly know that I have no chance at all. Like when I got rejected from my previous dream; Universitas Indonesia.

No one knows what the future holds. So, just in case… I will start applying the second option in my daily life. So please pardon me if the next time we meet I will see you like you never meant anything.

If you’re not the one

If you’re not the one You know that song by Daniel Bedingfield? That’s the most funniestest song ever! Just listen carefully to its lyric and you’ll get it. Ha ha ha. -that’s ironic laugh

Dear daniel, are you a psychic or what? Or you can read my mind huh? Or… My future has been written in your song? ;________; If I could cry, I probably would. And suddenly, as I write this post, iTunes decided to play If You’re Not The One… You know me so well, tun.

I never knew someone could make me feel this focking sad, blue, melancholic…

Dear Adele, I know exactly how it feels. Only Mr. Big who says that ‘broken heart can’t be that bad’, it is THAT bad! Even worse! If I could buy it, I would!!!! Definitely! Love, just name your price :’)

By the way, I won a playground 5th quiz but as dumbfuck as I am, I didn’t see the tweet and I lost it.

Pray

God, I don’t know what the future holds but right now, I want to thank you for all your blessings. I’m happy for what I have now. I believe that your plans are way much better than my dreams. And if it’s meant to be, it will be. You know what’s best for me. But I won’t stop trying my best. Please lead my way. Please don’t let me go to the wrong path. Please, love me. I love you, God. I really do. I’m sorry I haven’t been a good girl. I’m still learning and I know you’re never gonna leave me :’)

Allah, the one and only ♥

Melancholy

Embrace your self, more melancholic days (and posts) are coming!

It gets through my veins rapidly and tries to stop my lungs from breathing. It’s something that I should’ve thrown away long time ago. I didn’t because I thought I still had a chance. Actually, I still think I do. That’s what makes me melancholic.

It’s not about you, him, her, them or anyone. It’s not about love, absolutely. Love doesn’t even exist in my world. It’s just about me being stupid for thinking what I shouldn’t.

I over-think, over-analyze everything! But over-thinking things doesn’t make me less clumsy. I spend money I don’t have, I said things I shouldn’t have, and did not say things I should have.

…

…

I lied. It’s love, definitely.

Schweet!!

Last friday I had lunch at the Nanny’s with friends from high school. I had blueberry pancake and baked tuna rice. The pancake sent me to heaven. I don’t know what it was made from but it really sent me to heaven ♥♥ the cheese cream melted in my mouth as soon as it touched my tongue and the pancake’s soooo sooooffftttttttt that my tongue had an amazing tonguegasm. It’s the best pancake I’ve ever tasted. Trust me.

That’s the end of the pancake story

Now, I wanna write about this dumb friend of mine whose brain has drained out. Because sometimes being ‘nice’ and ‘stupid’ just divided by a very thin, invisible line. Not sure if nice or stupid 3-|

Here’s the thing. If you love something, go for it. But you have to know when to quit. Don’t go any further if it doesn’t lead you anywhere. Go for something better. Because damn boy! You deserve better.

I learned a lotta thing these past view weeks.

1. The art of letting go
2. I learned how to make cheese cake :’)
3. My lil sister is gyga-cute! Where the fuck have I been ya?
4. I’m very good at detecting lies that it hurts :’)
5. I’m a pretty good liar, trust me ;)

TTFN!

Feelings

When insecurity attacks me, I intend to think negatively almost about everything. About my self, friends, family, anything. Then jealousy would take over my soul and i’d feel really bad about my self. Then I’d usually read some sad stories to make feel that I’m not alone but I’d ended up feeling grateful for having what I have now. Now this is the happy thing, insecurity and jealousy that I feel always make me want to be a better person. It gives me courage to bounce higher and bitch-slap those who underestimate me.

Sometimes I wanna thank those people. Thank you for underestimating me. Thank you for calling me this, calling me that, doubting me, ignoring me, or whatevs, I just wanna say thank you.

And you, yeah you over there, I’m gonna make you regret as fuck.

Tha tha for now, xoxoxo love!

(back sound: Mr. Big - To Be With You)

I’m the one who wants to be with you

Deep inside I want you feel it too

Waited on a line of greens and blues

Just to be the next to be with you

The lyric pretty much says what I want to say ☺

Just want you to know that I love you much enough to wait

no one actually asked you to say anything but you did anyway, that looks like ‘fucks were given’ for me. shut the fuck up and go fuck yourself with a melon.

BAG RAIDERS (again)

So last Friday they finally came to Jakarta and they rocked Blowfish’s dance floo’! 

(two photos above taken at Buddha Bar,Jakarta, 2010) 

I’M IN LOVE WITH A SHOOTING STAR! <3 

The private party was not that private but really fun though. And it happened to be Jack’s birthday. We all sang a happy birthday song to him and he said it was sweet <3 (YOU ARE FUCKIN SWEET JACK!)

They off the set a bit early and we all were like, “WE WANT MORE! WE WANT MORE! SHOOTING STAR! SHOOTING STAR!” and BAM! They appeared with a huge grin on their faces. “OK JAKARTA!” And Shooting Star played…

I would say a huge thanks to Ismaya who held this party and gave me the invitations :*